Friend of a friend, to mutual friend: "Please grow a moustache like that!"
Chap who turns out to be called Kieren: "A moustache like that says 'I don't give a fuck. And don't trust me around children. Cos I don't give a fuck. I'm a cad.'"
Over excited chap: "Look at that tache!"
Excited lady: "Have you SEEN his tache?"
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